


Donald Duck is an Outsider

by IndefiniteHeaven



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 1987), DuckTales (Cartoon 2017), Legend of the Three Caballeros (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Bisexual Donald Duck, Donald Duck Needs a Hug, Donald Duck is the Duck Avenger, F/M, Family Feels, Family Issues, Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Period-Typical Homophobia, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndefiniteHeaven/pseuds/IndefiniteHeaven
Summary: “Why can’t you just be more like Della! She’s always making friends instead of enemies! You’re going to get yourself into trouble one of these days!”Donald wasn’t Della though and he would always be different than her. After all, he was an outsider, wasn’t he?
Comments: 14
Kudos: 322





	Donald Duck is an Outsider

~1987~

The first time Donald Duck realized he was different than everyone else was when he moved to his great uncle’s mansion when he was only 5-years-old. His parents had passed in a car accident, one dark night merely a month earlier, leaving him and his twin sister to be orphans. And, their next of kin in fact turned out to be Scoorge McDuck, one of the richest ducks in the United States, with plenty of money to spare to take in the pair of siblings. 

When had first entered the mansion, hand held tight to Della’s, he felt completely numb, while his sister openly had tears in her eyes. He hadn’t felt much of anything since then in fact. Della however, she had clearly felt enough for the both of them. On top of that they had both been in the accident that terrible night. Della’s right wing had been broken and her ribs heavyly bruised by the incident. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed with them time. His face though, had been scratched to high hell, his head bandaged from when he had slammed his face violently into asphalt. The doctors had suspected a massive head injury, as he had been knocked out for almost three weeks straight and he couldn’t remember a lot of his parents any longer. He was released yesterday though, as he showed no signs of struggle from the incident. 

When the front door had swung open that morning, a middle aged dog stared down at the pair. He had expected the man to glare at them, as though they were simply an inconvenience, just as everyone else this past few days had, only to see him smile warmly at them. They were ushered inside without another word, to be taken cared off like they deserved.

When they had met their great uncle, they were surprised to see his eyes glisten with tears at the sight of them, though they did not fall. Scoorge had only met them a handful of times, as he was a bit of a loner. He was always off on his own adventures, leaving behind the semblance of a true family. Donald had heard a great many tales from his parents, though most of the memories of said stories were hazy from the accident now. 

As they were met by Scrooge, Donald realized he was the only one, including at the funeral, to not cry at all. He felt something well up in his stomach. He was too young to identity what it was, but he knew it didn’t feel good. In fact he felt a bit dizzy, just as he had a few different times recently. They were ushered to their bedroom, shown the twin beds on opposite sides of the room, as though expecting them to sleep separate. While neither twin said a word, they knew that they would be seeking comfort with one other that night.  
*  
As the month passed, they both began to heal, and Della began to return to her old cheerful self. Donald became more vocal, though he was definitely the opposite of outgoing at this point. He actually ended up lying in bed more often that not, the aches and dizzy spells an often occurrence. While the young duck had been taken to a doctor once more because of their frequency, there wasn’t quite enough technology to see what was quite wrong by that point. They advised Scrooge to treat it as an illness, with plenty of bed rest and painkillers. It helped a bit and the doctor said he should heal with time. 

The summer was the perfect time as well, especially since he needed to be healed up in time for when school started at the beginning of September. At this point in time, the four of them had settled into their daily lives. Scrooge would disappear a few days at a time for business or treasure hunts. Duckworth would stay behind to take care of the young pair. Della and Donald played with one another throughout the summer. They didn’t have any friends by this point, as they didn’t go much outside of the mansion’s grounds. That would soon change though.

When they had returned from shopping with Duckworth one day, for new school clothes, they had entered to discover that Scrooge had returned from his latest endeavor. This time he was accompanied with extended family they hadn’t met before. Their Aunt and Uncle were there, along with two of their cousins in tow. While one was clearly a baby, unable to recognize his own surroundings at his age, the other appeared to be older than the twins.

The young duck, clad in green, smiled at them, waving. “Hi, I’m Gladstone!”

Della beamed, reaching out her good wing, smiling. “Hi, I’m Della! And this is my brother Donny!”

Gladstone has beamed at them in happiness, clearly excited to meet some of his family. “Are you twins? That’s so cool! That’s my little brother, but Mom and Dad said Fethry is actually my cousin, but it’s ok to call him my brother.”

Donald didn’t like the other duck, something about his presence unsettled him, though Della seemed to not notice that at all. They were already becoming fast friends and not for the first time, he felt like he didn’t belong in this conservation. He didn’t voice that though, afraid of the reaction. “That’s cool! We both have brothers!”

“What happened to your arm?” Gladstone asked, clearly ignorant about what had occurred to their parents.

Della’s smile dimmed in response, mumbling a response. “I broke it in an accident.”

Even at the tender age of 8-years-old, Gladstone could tell it was a tender subject and only nodded in response. His eyes jumped to Donald’s face, clearly eyeing his head. He didn’t say anything and Donald was glad he didn’t. Donald probably would have thrown a temper tantrum if he had. Gladstone instead pulled out a deck of cards, smiling wide. “Wanna play a game?

Donald would soon learn of his cousin’s amazing good luck. He would soon learn of the bad luck he possessed in return.

~1989~

The first time Donald had a seizure, he was only 7-years-old. Or at the very least a grand-mal one. He didn’t know until the doctor asked him, but apparently the minutes he blanked out were apparently seizures as well. Just a different kind. This time though, it had happened at the worst time. 

Uncle Scrooge had started letting them go on adventures when the twins had their seventh birthday that year and they had loved every minute of it. Duckworth has seemed to disapprove at first, but had slowly allowed it happen. While nothing extremely dangerous had happened to any of them since the twins had joined, Scrooge had still cautioned them at every turn to watch themselves and ask for help if they needed it. 

Donald couldn’t have predicted himself having a seizure while he would swing over a cavern on a vine though. He had been the last one swinging over, when he suddenly felt extremely dizzy. His hands had weakened and he let go, barely landing onto the opposite ledge, before the feet of his sister. Della was laughing at him. “How could you let go so early?! You’re such a dummy!”

Donald had felt his temper flare, when suddenly he felt sick, gasping. He saw his uncle’s face morph into concern, before things had gotten black. When he had awoken, he was in the hospital, somehow all the way back in Duckburg. 

He had had a seizure, startling his family members at the sudden action. They had obviously immediately canceled the adventure and rushed him back home. Della had still been crying when he woke up, afraid she was going to lose her brother, just as they had lost their parents. While Scrooge didn’t voice the same thing, he could tell by the look in the duck’s eyes that he thought the same as well. 

The doctor had said the seizure was likely related to the head injury he received when he was younger. They had done a few CAT scans of his brain, hoping to discover what exactly the problem was. Unfortunately, while it was clear something was slightly off about the scans, they couldn’t tell what the issue was. Scrooge had left into the hallway to speak to the doctor, the yelling heard clear to their ears. Donald ended up seeing many doctors after that.

~1991~ 

Donald had enough of the tests performed on him and had voiced that complaint many times over the past two years. Scrooge finally agreed to this opinion, deciding to move on. Donald had taken anti-epileptic medicine, as it seemed to be triggered by a variety of things as well. Many doctors had concluded that he had suffered brain damage and that the doctors at the time of the accident had been foolish during the time after and concluded he was fine. Donald wasn’t though. And it was yet another thing that made him different that the others. 

He knew that he could count on his family to be by his side though. While at times he didn’t get along with what Scrooge was said, he could tell that his Uncle cared about him. And Duckworth would make that clear in his actions as well. He hadn’t ever waivered in that belief in the past four years. Until he landed in the principal’s office for the 30th time that school year.

He had almost been expelled, just as the times before for punching another child, and yet again Scrooge had used his money to woo over the principal from punishing him harshly enough that he couldn’t return to the school. That was the last time Scrooge could do it though. So many parents had complained that he was one step away from losing it all. And Scrooge had made that clear when he had screamed at him the car ride home. “You can’t keep getting in bloody fights all the time, lad!”

“It’s not my fault they keep looking at me funny!”

“Why can’t you just be more like Della! She’s always making friends instead of enemies! You’re going to get yourself into trouble one of these days!” 

Donald had froze at the words, before crossing his arms over his chest, staring out the window. He couldn’t let his uncle see the tears glistening in his eyes at the words. Once again he felt like an outsider. The only difference this time, was that he realized that his Uncle didn’t love him the way he loved Della.

~1993~

When Christmas had arrived, Donald had already learned how to play his guitar pretty well. It was his outlet for some of his anger and it actually helped lessen the fights he had in school. He still had them though, which presented a problem. He had been expelled so many times that as a result, he was now going to have to repeat the 5th grade since he was so far behind, while Della would go on to the 6th. He got a huge earful from Uncle Scrooge over that one.

Which was why he decided to isolate himself on Christmas Day, though he would never admit that to anyone. So he played his guitar, coming up with what he was confident would be bigger hit than any Kurt Cobird hit out there. He didn’t expect his session to be interrupted by a kid in a blue shirt. 

By the time that they had defeated the vengeful spirit that haunted the grounds, Donald had a theory in mind about the kid. Though as usual, Della beat him to the punch. “You’re a relative from the future, aren’t you?”

The fact that their relative wanted to reveal information about their future struck a cord of fear in his heart. He didn’t want to know how his family would view him one day. The idea of the future terrified him. He was afraid that it would just be his family realizing they didn’t need him and what they would do after that. 

When they had returned, with their grouchy Uncle Scrooge in tow, the front lawn was completely empty. Della had screamed in frustration, trying to get him to believe what had happened. Donald saw the mischievous glint in the adventurer’s eyes as he claimed he didn’t know what she was talking about. He could tell his young ward could see through his lies and winked at him. For the first time in a long time, he felt close to Scrooge.

~1995~

The first time they went to Ithaquack, Donald had been surprised left and right by the trials they went through. What was more surprising was the fact that Storkules, son of Zeus wanted to be his friend. He hadn’t been really close to anyone all these years, except for his sister, so it felt nice to finally feel Companionship. He played it off as being indifferent to this, but secretly he was ecstatic about it.

By the time they were leaving, running for the plane to escape from Zeus’ wrath, Donald knew he finally had a friend. And once the first letter arrived, attached to a dove of all things, he didn’t hesitate to become pen pals with the Greek demigod. He kept it a secret for a few months, until his sister had discovered his letters. The pair had had a good laugh, when they realized they both were writing letters to certain entities. 

She showed him the letters she had received from Selene and they both decided to keep this a secret from Scrooge, who would certainly be angry about the exchange between the pairs. He had after all swore they would never return to that dreaded island.

Until they did only a year latter, to once again be challenged to a duel to the death. Selene and Della had laughed aloud, taking off to go explore the temples scattered upon the island, for untold secrets. Donald meanwhile struggled though new trials once more, Storkules following along with a laugh. When Zeus and Scrooge decided to fight over the wooing the people of the island, the pair had run off.

Storkules showed him wonders of the island, spinning tales of him and Selene on their adventures. Donald found himself enjoying the company with the other, feeling better about himself for the first time in a long time. He didn’t see it coming when Storkules would give him his first kiss though. It was gentle and full of affection. Donald had immediately jerked away in fear. “What are you doing?!”

“Why, showing you my affections, friend Donald!”

“But that’s...” Gross, wrong, yet another reason he was an outcast. He received confusion in response to him trailing off. “...Uh, I don’t know how they do it here, but guys don’t do that where I come from.”

“I would have thought that many lands would do as us. I was none the wiser that would be a strange custom to your people.”

“I mean some guys do that, but it’s...really weird.”

“Do you not want me to do that again?”

“Huh?”

“I will not do so again if you wish, but did you not like it?”

Donald felt a cold sweat grow on his brow at the words, feeling anxious. And a bit dizzy as well. “I...I need to sit down.”

“What is the matter, friend Donald?”

“Nothing, just a headache. It happens sometimes.”

“Whatever for?”

“Uh, I hit my head really hard when I was a kid and things got kinda...” Messed up. That’s why you liked kissing him. Only someone messed up would enjoy that. “Storkules, have you ever hurt your head?”

“Not that I recall,” If he hadn’t and that was normal on the island, then who was to stay Donald couldn’t do it again and not feel disgusted at himself. He grabbed the front of Storkules’ toga and pulled him in for another kiss. The demigod pulled away a brief moment later. “I thought your people did not do as we did.”

“Well, we’re not in Duckburg, are we?”

The rest of their visit to Itaquack was pleasant, until Scrooge became the island’s favorite. While they had quickly decided to leave on the plane, Storkules had blown him a kiss from the ground below, causing Donald’s face to redden. “Did he just blow you...a kiss?”

He jumped at Stella’s words, feeling fear immediately and rolling his eyes. “I guess so! He’s a weirdo though!”

Della shrugged a moment later and Donald realized he was in the clear. He realized he didn’t want to stop thinking about it later on.

~1997~

Donald had continued to write to Storkules, talking about his everyday life, a few of his worries. He would tell of the bullies at school, his music writing, his seizures that frequented his life. Storkules wrote heartfelt poems for him, always ending each letter exclaiming his love for him. While it hadn’t been exactly spoken, Donald knew he was what was considered dating the demigod and had been for nearly been for the better part of a year now. While he had begun to accept that this part of who he was, he didn’t tell a soul about his attraction to men. He wasn’t even sure how to define either. He thought he liked girls, but how could he when he found himself thinking about boys as well. It was a mess.

As usual, at the end of each letter, Donald took a picture with his Polaroid, stuffing it into the envelope for his boyfriend to see him as he grew older. He missed the teenager, thinking about their kisses a lot, and even about the love Storkules woven to him every time he was contacted. While he still didn’t have any close friends, he had Storkules by his side, and for now that was enough.

Donald had a problem though. And that problem was unfortunately Della. He had come into his room, right after school one day, intending on sending his latest letter. He froze at the sight of Della standing by his desk. She was reading what he wrote to Storkules. She was reading about Donald saying how much he loved Storkules. 

He had lunged across the room, ripping it from her hands, anger and fear rising to the surface. He screamed at her, fury evident across his face. “What are you doing with my stuff?!”

“Why are telling a demigod you’re in love with him?!” Della countered, face as bright red as his.

The color drained from Donald’s face and he stepped back. “I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! T-That would be, uh....”

The red had begun to drain from her face and she appeared confused. “I...don’t understand. Storkules is...he’s a guy? You can’t be in love with a guy!”

“Well, maybe I can actually! There’s others out there! On Itaquack, there’s a lot of people like that. With girls, too!”

“Well, I know that, but this isn’t Itaquack! Being like that it is-is!”

“Wrong? Sick? Different?” Donald had shot back, causing Della to step back in surprise at the venom in his tone. “You don’t think I don’t know that?”

“Why are you doing this then?”

“Fall in love? Maybe because for the first time in a long time, I feel like someone’s number one choice.”

Della frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You know! There’s no way you don’t see it!”

“See what?”

“Stop playing games!” His face had brightened into a red hue once more, the McDuck temper evident once more. “I know you can see that Scrooge loves you more!”

Della stared at him in stunned silence, before shaking her head at the words. “What? No, Scrooge love us both, you dummy!”

“You know that’s a lie! He’s always loved you more! He always wants to hang out with you around the house and he always asks you first about going on adventures! I’m just a tagalong! I’m always a tagalong!”

“No! He always does everything for you! You’re acting like all those doctor visits meant nothing! He spent so much money looking for a way to help you!”

“Because you sobbed to him about it! I heard you! He helped me because you wanted him too!”

“What? You were listening when I cried about that?”

Donald continued on, as though she didn’t answer. “Besides, he told me years ago that he wished I was more like you!”

“He did?” She appeared stunned at the words. “But...he loves you.”

“Yeah, well, it looks like he loves you more...” Donald turned away, refolding the letter, and slipping it into the envelope. “And, I needed someone to love me.”

“...you know you can’t keep telling Storkules those things, right? It’s not...it’s not what people do around here.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut. “I know...just...please, let me have this...just for a little bit longer...please, don’t tell anyone...as your brother...I’m begging you not to tell anyone.”

There was a weary sigh in return to his words. He felt a hand on his shoulder, looking up to see his twin. “Ok. I won’t tell anyone, Donald. Not even Uncle Scrooge....and even though you think Scrooge doesn’t love you, I know he does. I’ve seen his face everytime you’ve been hurt and I know for a fact he loves you so much.”

“I’ve seen his face when you get hurt...I know he doesn’t look at me the same way.” He mumbles in reply, tears swelling in his eyes.

“Donald, he loves you. And I love you as well.” For the first time since the accident Donald full on sobbed, because he didn’t believe it at all.  
~1999~

It had ended up being an accident in the end, it always ended being an accident that changes his life throughout the years. It seemed no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape his bad luck, couldn’t escape the pain that came with it. He didn’t see it as pain at the moment it had happened though, he had finally thought his luck had turned around. 

He was wrong though and he would always know remember that.

The paperwork was supposed to go to Gladstone, from his childhood violin teacher. While he hadn’t been the richest in Duckburg(that honor belonged to Scrooge) he was a wealthly scholar by all means. But the last in his family line. Gladstone had spent many lessons with the older man and the man had thought of Gladstone as his grandson after a number of years. So, of course the deed would go to the Luckiest Duck in the city. Except the deed showed up at his Uncle Scrooge’s mysteriously with Donald’s name on it instead.

He had opened the mail when he saw his name on it, blowing his bangs out of his eyes, eyes widening in surprise as he read it. He didn’t know how to respond to the deed. He was only 17-years-old! Donald had shoved it down his shirt immediately when Della came home, asking how his day was. He didn’t know why, but he felt as though this wasn’t something for his sister to know. Maybe he didn’t want her to be jealous. Or maybe he was just being selfish. Either way, he ended up going to the empty mansion on his own a few days later. 

He didn’t think he would discover the diary and an abandoned suit of Fantomius, who was known as a notorious gentleman burglar years ago. Intrigued by the man’s stories he had left behind, Donald decided to keep his discoveries to himself, as they might have proved useful.

When Donald donned the suit the first time, thinking it would be fun try on in the mansion, he thought that had been the coolest thing he had ever done, other than date a demigod for two years straight. His bad luck struck again though, with him ending up going down the garbage shuck that led out back, tumbling through the bushes in the garden and into the Bay Area below. 

By the time Donald Duck washed up on shore, twilight had set in. He dragged his wet body out of the water, panting heavily. He had nearly drowned, coughing up water from his lungs. He laid on the beach, breathing the night’s air. His life he flashed before his eyes for the millionth time in his life and it didn’t get any easier. 

When he heard the first scream in the distance, he knew he couldn’t ignore it. The Duck Avenger was born that very night.  
*

By the time six months had passed, the Duck Avenger had taken the world by storm. His uncle always grumbled about that hero causing destruction to the city of Duckburg on a constant basis, while Della would remind him he would do the same thing with a laugh. Scrooge would turn red in the face and cease his grumbling in response. During that time however, his seizures mysteriously seemed to vanish. Well, he would say mysteriously, but when you’ve bashed your head as the amount of times he had now, he supposed one of them would finally be the one to fix the damage in his head.

Donald would continue his adventures around the world with his great-uncle and sister, if only as a cover(he needed thrills, he needed to constantly be busy, he needed to stop thinking about-). The Duck Avenger would be seen overseas at times, doing good deeds across the globe. Donald was lucky that his uncle was rich beyond compare. He was also lucky that the weapons he stole from his uncle’s lead scientist, Ludwig Von Drake, were just counted as being destroyed in one of the many accidents that had occurred there over the years. 

When he climbed through the window one night though, the first person he knew personally would discover his identity. He had removed his cowl, panting from his bruised rib cage, when the light turned on. He froze in place, watching Duckworth’s eyes widen at the sight of his young master in his hero gear. Donald’s long hair swept across his sweaty face, deepening his voice. It wouldn’t make much of a difference since his cowl’s voice changer was missing. “I am sorry, random citizen! It appears I have the wrong house.”

“Oh, Master Donald,” The pity in the butler’s voice made him sick to his stomach. Or it could have been the punch he had taken earlier. “Why?”

Donald looked up, pleading, voice returning to normal as he realized it was too late. For the second time in his life, he was begging for his secret to be kept. “Please, don’t tell Della or Uncle Scrooge.”

“Why not?” The butler had approached, reaching out to him, taking his hand gently. Donald gulped down the swelling in his throat. Despite the fact that he was hired as a butler, he felt closer to an Uncle to Donald. He clearly cared for each member of the family in the mansion. 

“Because...Duckburg needs me.”

“If it survived without you here before, then it can survive without you out there putting yourself in danger. Your uncle would be beside himself if you were to...” Die. It was left unsaid and Donald had the feeling Duckworth would be beside himself as well. Not as much as if it were Della though.

He pulled his hand away, turning around to the open window, moonlight in his face. “Duckburg survived without me; that doesn’t mean it thrived.”

“While that may be true, why not leave such dangers to the police?”

“The police never showed up when that girl was nearly-“ He cut himself off, not wanting to reveal what almost happened that poor girl that first night he was out in the suit. Duckworth didn’t push the subject, which Donald was thankful for. He had never seen someone in a comprising situation up until that moment. He had now seen it too many times to count on one hand. Donald turned back around, window now closed. “I need to be out there still. I’m doing something good and I...feel good about it.”

Duckworth was never able to say no when either of the twins looked on in passion as such as they did now. He sighed, shaking his head at the teenager. “You need to have a better suit. I’ve seen some of the news reels and I’m not happy to see how many times you’ve been injured. In fact, show me what you have tonight.”

Donald’s face redended and he spluttered out his embarrassment. “What?! No! I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not. You are currently wheezing and are half bent over, clutching at your ribs,” Donald dropped his hand, frowning. “Now, take off your shirt, before I tell Mr. McDuck what you have been up to.”

Donald couldn’t say no after the threat. Duckworth was the only one to find out during the years he lived at McDuck manor. 

~2000~

When he turned 19-years-old, on the edge of graduating high school, Scrooge asked what he was planning on doing after school. Donald had planned on continuing the heroism he had been partaking in for the the past two years. He was already too far into it, constantly fighting off enemies, even Scrooge’s villains that tormented the city. However, he obviously couldn’t state that much to his uncle. 

While his sister had returned from a year aboard, now planning on staying at the mansion and going part time for a study of archaeology, he decided to go to school for music, to strength his cover. In reality he had given up on making guitar playing his career long ago.While Scrooge hadn’t exactly been thrilled to learn that Donald wanted to pursue music, he finally allowed it. He was even less happy that he wanted to move to a college dorm, leaving behind the mansion. In the end, Della was the one to convince Scrooge to allow him to leave the mansion. He could never say no to his favorite relative. 

Duckworth has told him to call if he ever needed someone to help him, a pleading look clearly in his eyes. Donald couldn’t say no. The dog had done so much over the years, that he would be eternally grateful. When the day came upon to leave, he packed his suit along with a few meter belongings, heading off to the next stage of his life.  
*

On his first day of his Music history class, he met Daisy Duck. He had never seen a more beautiful duck in his life, and for the first time since Storkules he allowed himself to fall in love. While Daisy has initially been distant, aloof to his advances, she warmed up. The more he got to know her, the more his heart felt warm. 

He had continued his vigilante duties every night, balancing his schoolwork during the daytime. The college student had learned long ago how to operate on little sleep and was managing as well as usual. By the time months had passed though, Daisy grew irritable about the fact that he had neglected her on a daily basis. That was the start of the on and off relationship that they would have.

When the year had passed, the three of them met together for the first time. Jose and Panchito were the first true friends Donald would have, though he wouldn’t realize that until later. What they did realize in that moment though, was that their ancestors had once been friends years and years ago. Donald wasn’t so sure about how he felt about it. He was barely tolerating the pair at this point in their relationship. And he didn’t have time for making friends at this stage in his life.

Donald, Jose, and Panchito found themselves living in Donald’s great grandfather’s bungalow, full of cluttered messes around them. They weren’t sure what all of the junk was and that’s what they assumed it was in the end. None of them would ever believe that this was when their destiny would begin. 

When Felldrake, the university’s president had approached their garage sale of the junk, he looked irked at the trio.Daisy’s nieces, whom was assisting them in selling their junk, were shocked when they realized a millionaire wanted to give them money for what seemed to be that worthless trash. 

Until Panchito found the golden book lying underneath a pile of books. The rooster had carefully pulled it out, staring at it with round eyes. “Look at what I found!”

They had gathered around, as the rooster broke open the lock on it, amazed by the golden flash of light. When a beautiful woman had exploded from the book, crying out her name, they had looked on in surprise. “I am Xandra, goddess of Adventure!”

Donald knew Scrooge would have a fit, he knew his nephew had interacted with certain detities once more. In fact, this was the first time in almost two years, after he had decided to cut off contact with his former boyfriend. And, as per custom of Gods and Goddesses, he was in for a wild ride.  
*

By the time the week had ended, Donald had felt intense panic about the fact he hadn’t been the Duck Avenger during that entire time. While he hid it well, he knew he had to get back out there soon. He also knew that he was foolish to continually drag Daisy in while he was like this. Yet, he found himself constantly enjoying her presence. As did Panchito and Jose. Things were going well. Almost too well.

Donald was standing far above the city, watching twilight settle in. He felt the anxiety clenching in his chest, easing away as he breathed in the night air. He was back to protecting Duckberg(at least the natural side, the supernatural was warded off by his uncle and sister) and it felt so right.

He stared down over the city, thinking about Darkwing Duck, the hero from the 70’s TV of the same namesake. He had spent his youth watching reruns on TV and he knew for a fact that it had a direct influence of who he was today, just as it had for many others. The only difference was not many people ran around as masked vigilantes throughout the night.

Donald had learned long ago that he was different than the others. That he was an outsider, even among the new trio he had. Jose and Panchito seemed to get along better than he did with either of the two. He just didn’t mesh well with others. He rarely had. He could barely get Daisy to mesh well with him and this was the first time since they had met that they had gotten along so well.

He knew that just as Storkules did though, Daisy had a time limit as well. He hated to admit that, but as long as he was the Duck Avenger, he couldn’t let anyone become extremely close to him. By the time he realized that Jose and Panchito had done so, it as far too late.

They had discovered his unconscious body, clad in his suit, passed out in the cabana, having been injured beyond what he body was capable of withstanding. When he had awoken, Xandra had bandaged him up, wanting to make sure he wouldn’t have any wounds infected. When she saw he was awake, she cursed him out, disappointed that he had told no one of his actions. “You cabs are always doing stupid things!”

“You can’t stop me,” He stated firmly once she had calmed and they had all froze at the words. “Duckburg needs me and I will always protect it.”

“My friend, none of us ever said we would stop you,” José answered, concern written on his face. “We just wish for you to be more careful.”

“Andddd, to share you struggles with your amigos.” Panchito crowed at him.

“Exactly.” Xandra confirmed, nodding her head.

Donald hadn’t felt like an outsider in that moment. It wouldn’t last long though. It never did.

~2003~

He had joined the military when he was 22-years-old, two years after meeting his closet friends. They had several adventures over the course of two years, spanning the globe to defeat evil at each point where other worlds met there own. They closed each one, banishing the supernatural before they become a widespread problem. When they had finished the map, Xandra bid them fare well, returning to the temple of the Gods for her next adventures. 

He didn’t know that would spell the end of the Caballeros, but in fact did. Panchito wanted to become a huge celebrity, playing music for the world and Jose had a interest in traveling to places he never seen before. Donald didn’t want any of that though, he simply wanted to stay for Duckburg. So they had parted ways.

As the months passed though, Donald pushed himself to the limit, only for the city to continue to label him as a criminal in a mask. After the better part of a decade, Donald retired his cowl and looked to alternative options to help people. He settled upon the Navy.

Uncle Scrooge had been so proud, telling him how he was finally becoming someone worth while, instead of messing around with that music nonsense. He had never told Scrooge about the destiny of the Caballeros and still hadn’t informed him of the Duck Avenger. He once again felt as though he were different than others. 

Even among the recruits, training, rebuilding himself from the ground up, bringing his years of crime fighting into his training, he felt different than the others. No, he was different. His peers seemed unnerved by high strength and temper. His higher ups seemed to encourage both to continue upwards. His time in the Navy is what led him to joining SHUSH. They noticed his talent and pulled him from the Navy at the end of training. They knew who he was, they knew he was the Duck Avenger. 

They had their own missions for him. While he was no longer the Duck Avenger, he became Agent 1987, going across the globe to perform where was necessary. When he wrote home to his family, he told them he was constantly on secret missions, ones he couldn’t disclose any information upon. Not even Scrooge McDuck could know, despite the fact he had been an agent himself. Just as Donald couldn’t know Scrooge’s work, other than the fact he had been an agent for SHUSH as well. 

By the time he had been finished with them, his already high scar count had doubled.

~2007~ 

In the end it had been the anxiety and the return of his seizures that did him in. His actions throughout the years had caught up with him and as a result he couldn’t cope with what he was being asked anymore, and the anxiety had reawakened the damage he had from the accident. So, with heavy heart, he headed back home. Back home to finally see Della’s eggs.

When he had returned, Della had welcomed him with open arms, excited to show him her beautiful eggs. While Scrooge had been clearly excited to have him home as well, he could tell the pair had grown closer. What his sister and great-uncle had, no longer could compare to what he should have been included in all along. He was once again an outsider. He smiled throughout it though, simply glad to be home with his sister and her soon to be children.

It had all fallen apart when Della had gotten into that rocket ship though. The Spear of Selene ripped apart what remained with his uncle, leaving only the pieces left behind. He cried out and cursed the man that allowed his sister to die. There was no hope for it. She was dead. Scrooge could delude himself into thinking she was alive, but as the month passed Donald last hope. She was never to return and her brother was left with her children.

“You’re leaving?!” Scrooge cried out, as Donald held the eggs in his arms. “You can’t go! The kids need to be here when she gets back!”

“She’s never coming back, Scrooge!” Donald cried out, face red with anger. “Because you let her get on that damn thing!”

“I didn’t let her do anything! Just as I’ve told your before, she-“

“Save it! I don’t want to hear the same story over and over again! She’s gone!”

Scrooge’s face crumbled at the words and he turned away from his nephew in anguish. “Fine! Go ahead and leave! Della will come for them when she returns!”

Donald felt the anger leave him, tired of the fighting that had happened the past month. “...you told me once that you wish I was more like Della.”

Scrooge was clearly froze in place by the words, yet he didn’t speak a word in response. Donald was allowing him one more chance, one more opening to rewrite how he had treated Donald. He never answered though. “Well, if I was more like her, the kids would never had someone to watch over them.”

He left without another word.

~2011-2017~

Donald hadn’t had a steady job since his time with SHUSH and it warded off potential employment as a result. Not to mention that SHUSH wouldn’t allow him to write them onto his resume. They didn’t leave him entirely alone though. They paved way for jobs that he would have the credibility for. But, his anxiety wasn’t suited for those types of high profile guarding. So, he simply accepted the monthly payment he received for the apartments he lived in with the boys. If it wasn’t for that money, Donald was sure they would live in poverty for sure.

He raised them on his own, relying on babysitters, mostly Daisy’s nieces to help him out as a side job, while they attended college. He insisted on paying them each time they did so. He quickly found out during that time that being a single father was unusual, since he lived in a world where mothers took care of their young. He was once again different from everyone else in that aspect. 

The young parent was trying his best to raise his boys a normal life though, wanting them to be as happy as possible. By the time they had entered kindergarten, he knew that he could breathe slightly easier, as he could finally focus more on jobs while they went to school. His temper always ended up ruining what chances he had in the end though and that was causing an impact on all their lives. 

When he had first approached a therapist, he had been terrified on how this would turn out. He didn’t know if he could unload all of his secret lifestyle into one. SHUSH always knew though. He was called, given a list of SHUSH approved ones, and he went from there. In the end, Donald knew this was the best decision of his life.

While the diagnosis of PTSD didn’t help jobs applications, it did help him in realizing what some of issues at hand were. He didn’t know that PTSD could be multi-layered, as his had been. Unknowingly, his had started from the car accident when he was young, stacking over the years, until he was overwhelmed. As the boys continued to grow, he continued to unravel his traumas a bit at a time. 

While Donald began to heal, slowly but surely, he learned more about himself than he thought was possible. Including the fact that he had an interest in men and women. As with being a single parent though, he had hardly the time to date. All of his efforts were going towards bettering himself and raising the boys. And bit by bit he succeeded in both. He felt better about himself and about his circumstances than he had felt in a long time. By the time 2017 approached, he was getting better at holding steady jobs. Huey, Dewey, and Louie encouraged him every step of the way there. He wouldn’t trade what he had for the world.

The world however had different plans for him.

~2018~  
After the Moon invasion, Donald felt as though his family was finally happy and complete. The triplet’s mother was back, his sister, Della, she was finally back! And they were celebrating with one another, cheering with the citizens of Duckburg. Though at least half of them were cheering for Glomgold for some reason, the rest praised the McDuck family for their part in saving the world. All was well, finally well! 

Except it wasn’t.

Donald didn’t realize it yet, until Della had her panic attack. Everything had seemed fine, as the day turned into dusk, everyone finally heading home to their loved ones. They had gathered into the dining room, Ms. Beakley off to cook the meal for them all, when Della had suddenly crouched down in the crowd, hyperventilating for all to see. 

Dewey was the first to be in her space, crying out in surprise by what was happening. Huey and Scrooge soon joined the young Duck, directly into her personal space as well. The room became extremely loud as they all questioned what was the matter, no one realizing that was worsening what was happening to her.

Donald found himself making eye contact with Louie, aware that he knew exactly was happening. After all, someone that had panic attacks as well would surely notice the signs of anxiety? The only difference was that Louie was a child, unable to properly comfort someone in such a state, while he was a full grown adult. He cried out, everyone freezing at the shout. “QUIET!”

All was silent, the only sound was Della’s harsh breathing, as she panted out her nerves. Donald approached her, crouching down beside her as he shooed away the others. While Huey and Dewey moved away from her right away with no arguments, Scrooge narrowed his eyes, defying him as expected. Donald sighed. “Uncle Scrooge, I’ve been like this before.”

The words seemed to startle him as they were spoken and he backed away a bit. “What?”

“What’s wrong with her?” Penny spoke first, standing a distance away from them, the aliens behind her echoing the same question. 

“She’s having a panic attack and there’s too many people here, so it’s making it worse.” He answered, squatting before his sister and watching her response. “It would help if there were less people.”

A number of them began to head into different rooms-he sent a silent thank you to Launchpad for hearding off the children and Penny commanding a few others to leave as well-leaving only him and Scrooge left. Donald ignored him, in favor of speaking to his sister. “Can I touch you, Della?”

She looked up, eyes wide, appearing uncomfortable by her own state of panic. “You can nod or shake your head no.”

She nodded immediately. That was yet another way he was different; he hated physical comfort when he was as worked up as she was. He pushed away that thought though, as he reached out for her hand. Donald was surprised when he felt her wings wrap around his shoulders, shaking as she buried her face into his chest. “What’s going on, Dells?”

He felt her choke out a cry at the nickname. Scrooge reached out to the pair, before wrapping his wings around her as well. They sat upon the ground together, rocking slightly back and forth when Donald started to do so, relishing in the comfort of all of them being together for the first time in almost 11 years. 

When the shaking began to cease, Della pulled away from Donald, and Scrooge stood back up. Della wiped at her moist eyes, smiling a bit at him. He felt his heart warm at the sight and he smiled back in return to him. She laughed a bit, before speaking hoarsely to him. “I-I missed you, D-Donny.”

“...what happened, Della?” Scrooge questioned from his stance behind her. 

She turned around, craning her head up to him, before burying her face into her knees. She laughed a bit, the pair watching her with concern. “I-It’s stupid...”

“No, it’s not.” Donald protested.

“B-But, it is!”

Donald reached out, hand resting on the top of her head. He looked up at Scrooge, feeling as though he was stripped bare, about to reveal who he truly was. And Donald was about to in a moment. He was going to finally explain his PTSD to his family. “Della, it’s not stupid, because that would mean my panic attacks were, too.”

Della looked up in surprise, tears glimmering in her eyes. Scrooge frowned at him, eyebrows furrowing. “Panic attacks? What in God’s green earth are you talking about?”

Donald stood up, reaching out his hand to his twin. She immediately received it, standing with him as well. The trio now stood face to face with one another as he spoke, voice shaky. “I-I...I’ve had panic attacks since I was 16-years-old.”

Scrooge appeared bewildered at his sentence. “Whatever for?”

Donald laughed wetly, face reddening at the words. “Uncle Scrooge, Della, I have to tell you something first. It will make you understand why in a second...I-I’m....I’m bisexual.”

There was an immediate sigh of relief from Scrooge. He shook his head at the words. “I thought you were about to say something real bad for a moment there, lad.”

Donald blinked in surprise and his twin echoed his inner thoughts. “What? You don’t care?”

“Of course not! You don’t get to my age and not be a little bit bisexual!” 

They seemed to process these words before him and Della sputtered in surprise. “You’re bisexual?!”

Scrooge waved his hand at them, rolling his eyes. “You’re acting like that’s a surprise! It’s not like gay folk were born overnight. I’m more interested in gold than anything else though.”

Donald and Della stared at him frozen, before bursting into laughter. “What? Why are you two laughing?!”

“I-I just-!” Della made eye contact with Donald and they both wheezed. 

Their laughter filled the room, as Scrooge rolled his eyes once more. “It’s not that funny.”

By the time they settled down, they were both out of breath from how hard they laughed, before Della turned to Donald. “Thank you for telling us that, Donald...and I wanted to say sorry...I never did all those years ago when I said those bad things to you and I really wish I could take it all back.”

Donald felt his heart swell up, tears swimming in his eyes. He knew she was referring to her reaction about his interest in men. “That...that means a lot.”

“Hold on, what are you two talking about?” Scrooge tapped his foot, raising his eyebrow.

“Ummmm, well...I told you I’m bisexual, because...ummm....” Donald whistled awkwardly, glancing away from him.

“Donald dated Storkules!” Della burst out, pointing at her brother.

Everything seemed to freeze, when suddenly they heard the door behind them swung open, Dewey coming out of the next room screaming. “I KNEW IT!”

He ran out to the center of the room, shooting finger guns into the air as he laughed in triumph. Huey and Louie approached him from behind. Louie reached out his hand to Huey, waving it to his brother. “I told you. Pay up.”

Huey rolled his eyes, before reaching into his red hat, pulling out a $20 dollar bill and handing it begrudgingly to the other. Donald frowned at the exchange. “You were making bets on whenever I was gay or not?”

“Who haven’t we made bets on?” Dewey cried out.

“Well, Uncle Scrooge for one,” Huey responded. They all suddenly remembered what had been spoken earlier and turned to their uncle. His face was perfectly blank as he watched them all, before a red hue began to overtake his face. “Ohhhhh, no. I recognize that look.”

“Hit the dirt!” Dewey screamed in horror, diving for the floor as Scrooge exploded with the famous McDuck anger.

“YOU DATED WHO?!” His cane swung out, face a bright hue, waving around his arms in response to this revelation. Donald and everyone else cringed at the loud volume. “STROKULES?! STORKULES?!”

“Yesh, is this what I sound like?” Donald mumbled loud enough for the others to hear.

“Oh, yeah, definitely.” Louie confirmed as they all covered their ears.

“It’s uncanny!” Della shouted at him.

Donald groaned, before raising his voice. “Uncle Scrooge! UNCLE SCROOGE!”

Scrooge paused in his fit, eyes narrowed in fury at his nephew. “Don’t you ‘Uncle Scrooge’ me! You’re a no g-“

“Uncle Scrooge, I need to tell you more.”

That seemed to immediately shut him up, lowering his cane, face returning to the normal shade of calm. Everyone lowered their hands from their ears, letting out mutual sighs of relief. “Don’t think you’re in the clear yet, but...about those panic attack of yours?”

Donald nodded in confirmation. He reached out for his boys to approach him, allowing them to huddle close to him as he spoke. “I think you need to hear this as well.”

“Is this why you have anger management classes?” Dewey asked, concern written plainly on his face.

“His what?” Della, Huey, and Louie echoed in confusion.

“Uh, yeah, but you weren’t supposed to know about that, right Uncle Scrooge?” He narrowed his eyes at the older man, clearly frustrated.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that! Him and Webbigal went looking for family secrets and found your therapist on their own!”

Donald released a sigh, shaking his head. “Yes, it is actually. The anger management is part of that, too. I, uh, had my first panic attack when I...when I broke up with Storkules.”

Scrooge seemed conflicted at the words, partly because he was still angry to just learn that bit of information, but also full of concern about the anxiety he wasn’t aware his nephew had. Della suddenly gasped though, hands covering her mouth. “It’s because of me, wasn’t it?”

Donald glanced away, eyes squeezed shut. “It was a long time ago...it doesn’t matter as much anymore. But, that was just the start of them. I started to get them a lot more, when I became...I became the Duck Avenger.”

Donald knew that the children knew of the hero of Duckburg, just as everyone else in the room had already. Despite the fact he had abandoned that mansion that held his uniform over a decade ago, the whispers about that hero that once roamed the streets never went away. That’s why he was surprised when Launchpad, who suddenly was beside him suddenly spoke. “Who?”

Donald jumped nearly ten feet, crying out in surprise at the sudden breech of personal space. “Launchpad!”

That seemed to break the silence in the room, everyone exploding about the secret identity revealed. This seemed to attract the attention of the others throughout the mansion, everyone returning to see what the current fuss was about. Several of their friends learned of Donald’s revealing as they renter the room, only a few seeming to question who that was. He shook his head, swiping his hand down his face in exhaustion. “Seriously though, who is that?”

The Duck ignored Launchpad in favor of trying to calm down the anger swelling his chest at the noise. Everyone paused when Duckworth came out of the floor, floating above them. “I already knew.”

This seemed to set off another round of yelling among the members of the room, while Donald finally decided to leave the overcrowded room.  
*

Later, he lay upon his hammock, on the deck of his houseboat, staring up at the stars above him. Donald hadn’t heard from anyone the better part of an hour and had enjoyed the peace of the night. Donald thought back on his life and all the years he had spent feeling as though he were an outsider and couldn’t help once again feeling like that exactly in the moment. He was beginning to believe he would never completely feel as though he belonged and wondered if he should begin to accept that.

“Hey,” Della’s voice came from the shadows, she approached his hammock, the glow of the pool below illuminating her face. “I thought you would be here.”

“You thought right.” 

“Uh...I just wanted to see how you were doing. You seemed kinda upset when you left.” She scratched the back of her head.

“Yeah, I kinda was.”

“I’m not sure what you expected though, when you dropped that on us though. I mean you? The great Duck Avenger? I couldn’t believe you never told any of us.” 

He blinked at her words. Didn’t she know? “Why would I tell anyone? You all think I’m a failure so you would have just made me stop.”

Della frowned. “Is that what you think what we think after all these years?”

“Think? I know you all do,” He was surprised to see tears swimming in her eyes. Donald sat up in his hammock, staring at her in confusion. “What?”

“Don, you’re the most successful person I know. You were a brave hero for years, you joined the Navy, you raised my beautiful boys all on your own. Of course we know you’re not a failure, because you really aren’t one.” Della replied, pulling him into a hug.

The hammock suddenly swung wildly and he tumbled out on top of her. They both stared at one another, before bursting into laughter. “I should have probably saw that coming!”

He smiled at his sister’s words, before pulling her into a hug this time. “I’ve missed you so much...and thank you...I always thought that maybe that was why Scrooge loved you more, because you’re so good at everything.”

“Is that what you think?” Scrooge appeared behind him, his face aghast at Donald’s words as he made his way onto the deck.

“Uncle Scrooge?” 

“Of course I don’t love Della more! I just couldn’t understand you all the time, playing around with your ghastly music and being all pouty about everything.”

“Hey! I wasn’t pouty!”

“You were too! Always mumbling stuff about being misunderstood literally and figuratively!” 

Donald felt his cheeks heat up a bit. “...well, maybe I was a little bit.”

Scrooge sighed, approaching them. “I suppose I was partly at fault too...all those years I tried to make you something you were not. Meanwhile, you were out there, already making a name for yourself. What I’m trying to say is...I’m sorry I led you to believe I didn’t love you.”

Donald let out a wet noise, before throwing himself at his uncle, the older man nearly toppling over. “Donald! you nearly made me lose my balance!”

“Uncle Scrooge, I love you.” He said for the first time in years.

The older man tensed up for a moment, before squeezing him back. “I love you, too lad.”  
*

“I think you should go see my doctor,” Donald told Della later, as she weaved her stories about her time spent on the moon for all of those years apart. “I think being alone for so long was bad for you.”

Della paused in one of her stories, shrugging, appearing to be indifferent. “I think your problems are much bigger. I mean you fought villains for years and were doing who know what with the Navy.”

“That doesn’t mean what happened to you wasn’t bad either. I think I have to go talk to him soon anyways, with that whole island thing...I still think about Watermeley...” His eyes got a distant look in them.

Della frowned, snapping her fingers in front of his face. He shook his head, clearing away the spell, before continuing on. “I think you might also have PTSD.”

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“The nightmares?” She cringed. “Or maybe the three panic attacks you’ve had now?”

“Ohhhh, right, those.” 

“I think it would help. I know it did with me.”

“I’ll think about it,” He raised an eyebrow at that. She sighed. “Ok, ok, fine! I’ll go to one appointment! But, just one!”

That one ended up being eleven before the year was over.

~2019~

When Christmas Eve came around after Della had disappeared, he found himself yet again with a different tradition than most had. After tucking in the boys, he would make an extra cup of hot chocolate for his sister, with three marshmallows in it. It was just the way she preferred it. He would observe the steam fade out of it as it laid across from him. Donald would drink his own, whispering to her during the night of before Christmas. “Merry Christmas, Della.”

When she had finally been back into their lives, years later, Donald had learned a new tradition. He would sit across from his sister on Christmas Eve, her hot chocolate in her hands, three marshmallows in her cup. He would smile at her, watching her beam in return as he spoke. “‘Merry Christmas, Della.”

“Merry Christmas, Donald.” She answered, content to be beside her brother before Christmas Day.

“Merry Christmas, Mom!” Dewey yelled as the four young ducks ran into the kitchen, panting as they headed towards the next room. “We’re definitely not running from a monster!”

“Nope!” Webby screeched wildly behind him.

“Nothing to see here!” Louie called out, hands buried into his hoodie’s pockets.

“Everything is fine!” Huey reassured them, Woodchuck guidebook in hand, as he was the last one to run through the swinging kitchen door.

A moment after the group disappeared, there was a furious roar that rattled the windows of the mansion, and screams of terror from the four of them heard. Immediately after that sudden noise, Scrooge cried out from the next room beside them. “Come at me, you overgrown jolly creature!”

“Santa Claus?” Della asked as she sipped her cup.

“Santa Claus.” Donald confirmed, sipping his as well.

The pair shared a knowing look with one another, a glint of adventure burning deeply in both of their eyes. Della set down her drink, smiling at his steady gaze. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Donald set down his drink as well. “You also want to go fight Santa Claus?”

“Oh, definitely!” The twins were immediately set out for the door of the kitchen, her hand pausing before she would swing it open to reveal the chaos next door. Della looked to him, tilting her head. “Are you ready?”

“Always.” With those words, she swung open the door, revealing the next adventure in both of their lives.

Donald Duck had always been different than everyone else, but he wasn’t an outsider any longer. After all, his family would always make sure he was welcome somewhere in the world.

~END~

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda became obsessed with Ducktales 2017 and when I realized that I sympathized with Donald Duck I was gone. If you had told me a year ago I would be writing fanfiction about a duck I would have definitely not believed you, yet here we are. This was actually a bit of a vent fic, that I wanted to turn into an actual story about Donald’s life throughout the years. I hope you all enjoyed!


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